A Good Name | skirt.com

by misadventureismyname

Never have I felt so low as I did yesterday. Well, let me explain before anyone starts pulling out the tissue box.

As a woman with a sordid family and financial past, I will say that somehow, I have always been able to pay my bills. It's been the one consistent in my life. The one thing that I can control. I might have taken on 4 jobs at a time to do it, but I did it. It makes me proud to think that my mom raised such a strong and independent woman who has literally NEVER asked for financial help from anyone.

It's been difficult buying my first car and paying it off, understanding that credit cards need to be paid every month (Thank you, Autopay!), balancing a checkbook and realizing that groceries can't always be bought every month when mom and dad don't hand over the money.

I've held down every job I've ever had and have never been fired, even when I wanted to quit more than I wanted to clock in. And, like almost anyone, I've written checks that I knew my butt couldn't cash, but my luck has always been just enough to cover it.

Until yesterday. I overdrafted for the first time since I've had a bank account. We're talking 8 years here, people. Not once in 8 years--with and without parental support--have I done that. I just bawled. I didn't want to eat or sleep all night because I felt like a loser. I felt so ashamed that I couldn't take care of myself and that I had to call my car insurance and basically beg them not to hate me for not having the money.

A sputter of luck came my way when the lady I first came to 5 years ago for car insurance was on the other end of the line. Her name is Carmen, and she has always remembered me. I never understood why until yesterday. Five years ago, when my mom died, my dad threatened that he would call the police and report a stolen car--the one I drove. He took it off the insurance and if it hadn't been for my grandmother, who knew what to do, then I wouldn't have known that crying wasn't the answer. She told me to take my brother and drive down to a local insurance company and there, I met Carmen.

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